let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
