She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
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When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
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GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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