I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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