Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize