white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i think i have herpe
just one?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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