you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
