so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
