what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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