Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize