we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize