I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
