I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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