Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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