omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We just shotgunned beers for America
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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