I wish I could punch you in the face.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
