If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
