i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
