she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
