She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
vagina is talking i cant
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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