I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
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No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
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I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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