I faked an abortion last night.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
