My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
