whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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