Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize