Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
