hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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