scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
