did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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