The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
50% drunk capacity currently
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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