Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
