So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
