No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
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i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
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I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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