Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
