I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
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I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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