Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
smell my finger.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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