i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
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and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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