I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
