my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
