I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
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You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
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Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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