we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm sobbing to NWA
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
