yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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