But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
