Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
