Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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