You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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