There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He felt like a one man threesome
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Randomize