this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
