Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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