I like to think it a success when the cops are called
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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