At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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