The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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