Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
