He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
