I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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