all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
