In the future we'll all be gay
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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