Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
